Why perfectionism isn't helping you

Coach Sav
Aug 15
3 min read

In my work as a tennis coach, I have seen players have a reaction WHENEVER they make a mistake. And I'll be honest, it hurts me when I see this. In tennis, among every other sport & type of performance, MISTAKES HAPPEN. Learning how to manage yourself after making a mistake is so important and often overlooked.

Perfectionism is sneaky. It disguises itself as motivation. As drive. As wanting it more. But under the surface, it’s doing more damage than most athletes realize.

Here’s what perfectionism actually does, and what athletes need instead.

#1 Perfectionism Isn’t the Same as High Standards

Let’s be clear: there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve or succeed. That’s called achievement motivation, and it’s healthy. I was just talking to a friend, a former competitive tennis player, about wanting more and more challenges & success. We laughed because we knew that was the athlete in us. But perfectionism goes further. It says, “If I’m not flawless, I’m not good enough.” That’s a problem.

According to Weinberg & Gould (2023), perfectionism is a multidimensional personality trait involving high personal standards & excessive concern over mistakes, fear of negative evaluation, and doubts about performance.

Athletes with perfectionist tendencies tend to tie their self-worth to outcomes.

They become overly self-critical, even when they're performing well.

And when that fear of failure creeps in?

It shows up as overthinking, anxiety, and emotional crashes after every little mistake.

It's also an easy habit to fall in and out of... I'll admit to it!

Depending on how you want to define it, there is a "healthy perfectionism", in which one has high standards without excessive worry for mistakes or about how others view them.

So, have high standards... successful athletes have high standards for themselves.

BUT, understand that progress is NOT perfectly linear.

#2 It Wrecks Confidence & Delays Recovery

When perfectionism runs the show, mistakes aren’t treated as learning opportunities.

They’re treated as proof of not being “enough.” That’s where confidence takes a hit.

Williams & Krane (2021) explain that confidence comes from preparation, performance success, and self-awareness. NOT from expecting perfection. Confidence is about belief in your ability, not about never failing.

#3 It’s Linked to Burnout and Anxiety

Athletes caught in a perfectionist loop tend to lose sight of the ✨joy✨ of sport.

They’re constantly performing under pressure, not because they want to but because they’re afraid not to.

Weinberg & Gould (2023) discuss that maladaptive perfectionism is consistently linked to higher anxiety levels & emotional exhaustion in athletes. These athletes are more likely to struggle with overtraining, burnout, and even quitting altogether.

And if perfectionism goes unchecked, the mental toll becomes too heavy, no matter how talented or hardworking the athlete is.

So What Actually Helps?

💡 Setting process-based goals.

💡 Encouraging self-compassion when things don’t go as planned.

💡 Normalizing mistakes as a necessary part of growth.

Confidence doesn’t come from being perfect.

It comes from being prepared, mentally & emotionally, to handle imperfection.

Want Support Breaking the Perfectionism Cycle? 🧠💪

I help athletes & performers build confidence, resilience, and mental strategies that actually work, so they can perform at a high level without the pressure of being flawless.

Book a free 20-minute consult and let’s talk through it. You don’t have to do this alone!

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